My Quest for Happiness in the Superintendency

Carrie Hruby, superintendent of O’Fallon, Ill., School District 90, created positive connections with staff by launching an online discussion series around the Happiness Lab podcast series, produced by a Yale University psychologist. PHOTO COURTESY OF O’FALLON, ILL., SCHOOL DISTRCT 90

Happiness in the superintendency is not intended to be oxymoronic although it may currently feel so because of COVID-19. Our role as superintendents has expanded and become increasingly stressful and demanding over the past 2½ years.

Like other educators, I have experienced the gravity of our leadership work, including overheated school board meetings riddled with unsubstantiated personal attacks on school leaders, distractions of social media and false information, public health-related decisions that required immediate action with little historical experience and the difficulty of communicating to a frustrated public why neighboring districts took contrasting COVID-19 mitigation approaches.

I always considered myself a successful leader of O’Fallon School District 90, which serves 4,000 students in central Illinois, and I’ve prided myself on my optimistic attitude and my decision to choose to be happy. I believe happiness is a choice individuals make. Yet as the pandemic wore on, the constant stress led to sleepless nights and restless days that impacted my wellness and the health of other school leaders. At several points, we reached our limit, leaving no capacity to cope with more pressure.

Superintendents who lead through one crisis after another find themselves emotionally drained and physically exhausted from the time spent managing, as opposed to leading. Creative planning and innovation must take a back seat, and happiness and personal job satisfaction from holding a highly regarded leadership position ebbs. Turnover rates in the superintendency illustrate the weight of it all, and the effects on many have been widely reported in the news.

As superintendents, we spend our careers making difficult decisions, often guided by prior experiences or field research. But even seasoned superintendents like myself found ourselves lacking the beacon of prior guidance or experience during a crisis of this magnitude. Not once were we able to exclaim, “I’ve got this under control. I’ve got it all figured out!” The uncertainty of the path forward, and the struggle to see when our learning environments would again feel normal frustrated and alarmed us. 

Leaders experienced a self-imposed pressure to keep staff, students and families informed, upbeat and safe. It weighed heavily on our minds every day. Happiness felt as distant and elusive as the end of the pandemic itself.

Beneficial Resources

Was it possible to choose to be happy? In the wake of the pandemic and stressful board meetings, I asked myself that question. Thirsty for solutions to the ongoing stress of the superintendency, I found myself purchasing books and listening to podcasts on happiness. I stumbled onto a thought-provoking and well-produced podcast series from Yale University professor Laurie Santos called The Happiness Lab.

Santos, a psychology professor, walks listeners through the benefits of positive psychology and the methods to achieve happiness. One episode featured Catherine Price, author of The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again, who shared the benefits of playfulness, connection and flow. The podcast reminded me of the value of connecting to others and creating space for thoughtful activities that help spark full engagement. The podcast series also helped me recognize how natural it is to search for ways to escape stress.

By nature, our brains want to survive, hence the desire to escape or flee stress. We are wired to prioritize the escape over the need for emotional well-being and social-emotional support.

Many of the activities I engage in daily offer an immediate escape but do not set the stage for the type of flow psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi identifies as a key ingredient of happiness. For example, scrolling through social media and binge-watching a new television series provide junk flow, or a state of flow that offers an immediate distraction. Junk flow activities offer a mindless escape from a stressful day, but they do not provide the opportunity to be thoughtfully reflective, stimulated or creative.

After an hour of browsing social media feeds, I find I am no further in the quest for happiness than prior to picking up my mobile device. In fact, the time spent on a junk flow activity adds stress because it steals time from more productive tasks. In my quest for happiness, I needed to be more intentional with free time, limit junk flow activities and purposefully plan time for engagement that creates flow such as learning a new skill, listening to music or reading for enjoyment.

Flow and engagement not only make for a happy life but also provide superintendents with resilience to bounce back from stress. In my quest for happiness, I didn’t expect to replicate the unwavering positivity of a puppy who is happy regardless of the situation nor did I turn a blind eye to challenges. Happiness is not intended to be a constant state. Rather happiness comes in waves. It is acceptable and natural to feel angry or frustrated at times. The key is in knowing how to find our way back to a state of happiness in the darker and challenging times.

A Podcast Club

Just weeks after I discovered The Happiness Lab podcast series, I realized teachers and staff in our district might benefit from the opportunity to hear an expert and share reactions with colleagues. Nearly 20 people joined the Happiness Podcast Club to listen to an episode and then meet online to discuss it, much like a book club.

We meet twice a month online so staff can join on the go if they need to drive a child to an appointment or commute home from work. Because each 35-minute episode is able to stand on its own, there is a great deal of flexibility for staff to participate. What I appreciate most is that we each take something different from the podcast and can reflect upon our new insight and apply it to our lives. Not ironically, I find I am in a state of flow and connection when we are engaged in good conversations about the topics from the podcasts.

The quest for happiness includes flow activities, but also connection. I could no longer allow myself to remain on an island of stress. That meant I had to admit I didn’t have every answer and sometimes didn’t have any answers. I needed to connect to peers and colleagues and share ideas and thoughts. I needed others, which can make a leader feel vulnerable when approached authentically.

I recognize now my quest for happiness in the superintendency makes me a better superintendent. Happiness has health benefits and boosts creativity, which in turn provides the opportunity to remain in a state of productivity, creativity and flow. Superintendents must intentionally guard time for flow and connection. We must walk away from our cellphones, even if it’s just for an hour on a weekend, to read a book or write in a gratitude journal. We should make it a habit to close the browser window to our e-mails so our creativity cannot be interrupted.

As leaders, we cannot give what we don’t first possess. We cannot help others find happiness if we are unhappy ourselves.

CARRIE HRUBY is superintendent of O’Fallon School District 90 in O’Fallon, Ill. Twitter: @carrie_hruby