My View
Compromising on Your Absolutes
BY ROARK HORN/School Administrator, June 2021

WHEN I HAVE the opportunity to speak with graduate school classes in administrator preparation, I like to challenge those considering school leadership to think about the importance of avoiding absolutes in education.

I ask them to reflect on two questions: What will you always do, and what will you never do as a school leader?

Then we engage in discussion about how, no matter what they answer, there will come a time when they will have to compromise on those absolutes, when they won’t be able to do what they think they will always do and when they will be forced to do what they think they never will do.

The point is this: When entering school leadership, understand that circumstances may very well cause you to set absolutes aside. When this happens, it signals growth in leadership, not a failing in one’s character. It means someone is not tied to inhibited pre-thinking.

Hurt Feelings

A common absolute among those entering school administration is “I will always put my students first.” Although this is noble in concept, you need not be in a leadership role long before you compromise on that. You will encounter a student versus adult conflict when the adult is clearly in the right. In that case, you will not put the student first. You will see a higher priority in doing the right thing.

Similarly, a common never statement is “I will never hurt a child.” If you mean you would never hurt a child physically or emotionally, then of course you must adhere to that absolute. However, if hurting in a broader sense means making a student feel bad or regret his or her actions, there will be times when you will be compelled to do that as an investment in the student’s future. Often, those are the students who come back to you later with gratitude for caring about and respecting them enough to invest in their well-being.

Interestingly, I cannot remember a time when any prospective school leader answered the never question by saying, “I will never hurt an adult.” I am confident no one would intentionally physically or emotionally hurt an adult, but there is a distinction between children and adults that people obviously draw on when they reflect on that question.

I wonder how many early-career school leaders feel comfortable, as I was, with confronting students, so long as doing so invests in their personal growth. However, I was far less comfortable confronting adults and instead honed my peacekeeping skills to avoid conflict. I didn’t want to hurt them, so I avoided the hard conversations altogether.

I even once had a teacher tell me he felt I was patronizing him too much when he really didn’t deserve it. That had a profound impact on me as a sign I was prioritizing peace over productivity, and provided an important perspective, especially during evaluation conferences with staff.

Stimulating Growth

In a pandemic, it will be especially tempting to simply pat staff on the back and thank them for the good things they have accomplished under extraordinary circumstances. Although you should make a point of that, you also do them (and the students they serve) a favor by discussing areas in which they can improve. Remember that your best staff members got that way because they are always hungry to get better. They appreciate affirmation but know there is always room to grow as an educator.

And the ones who are struggling? They likely know even more than you that they need to get better. No one intentionally wants to do a bad job. Though you might be concerned about hurting their feelings, especially in these unusual times, this also might be the ideal opportunity to frankly, honestly and authentically provide them the path they need for improvement. In having these conversations, your “hurt” may produce a result that benefits not only them, but all the future students they teach.

ROARK HORN is executive director of the School Administrators of Iowa in Clive, Iowa. Twitter: @roarkhorn. An earlier version of this column appeared in the SAI newsletter.